I think it's becoming a thing for me to update this blog after 2 years and a half.. Yo gurl is 23 now yikess...
Well hello there. How's it been ? My life has been quite hectic lately due to work but I have this sudden urge to just update this blog so i can read it back if I were ever to need it. This is gonna a long rant so bear with me as I try to recap what happened for the past 3 years till now.
Phew.. who would ever thought I would be single till now? I do had some flings here and there, but it never worked out. It's not what I wanted, and maybe not what the significant other want to as well. My love life as always, been a roller coaster ride. A never-ending heartbreak, rejections and the sudden loss of feelings for crushes. Although, deep down inside I've always wanted to settle down. Not that I ever played around to begin with, but settle down. In a sense where I have someone who I can love and he loves me back. In a sense where life becomes bearable because I have support ( not monetary wise..obviously..) mentally and physically. Someone who I know, will be there for me despite the negativity of life that befalls upon me. Well, I still have hope that this year would be THE year I meet that someone.. Nonetheless, no rush no rush.
Regardless of the pain, I do enjoy having someone to love. Someone I could look forward to everyday but at the same time, I enjoy being alone, having my time and follow my pace. Oh the agony of Zat. What are the odds. Life has certainly amaze me. Moving on
Lets talk about my friendship for the past 3 years. I still hold on to the phrase 'people come and go' and as always, I step out from the toxicity when I have to. I end it when I have to. I don't reminisce or miss the people who put me through pain emotionally or talk shit about me behind my back and act so nice in front of me. And I don't fight. Leave if you want to but please don't come back. I am so so thankful that Allah never gave me the feeling of wanting to please people.And I appreciate my resources. I thank Allah for the people who came up to me and tell me what's been going on behind the curtain. And believe me, the ones that have walked out of my life, they have been amazing friends. Very amazing. They were there for me when things went downhill, and are the ones that push me towards pursuing my goal. May Allah always always bless them in this world and hereafter.
Even so, I don't appreciate the insincerity and the lack of trust. The more you get to know me, the more you don't know me. Heck, I am still finding myself. Truth to be told, I went through breakdown so many times cause I was so fixated on whether what I was not good enough. Was my love that cheap to you ? Must I declare everyday that I love you? Must I give all my money and fill up my stories of you so that you know that I love you?. Was that all you care about in this friendship? I will never know and I do not want to know. The negativity and assuming about my behavior is just uncanny and I find it utterly disgusting to just assume things. I have my own flaws in friendship but in this case, I believe I made the right choice. If not feelings of wanting to be friends with them would still linger( never did, not once I ever missed our moments). Interesting right ? Who would have thought the happy go lucky Zat went through A LOTTTT of petty dramas. Moving onn..
Any of you holding up? There's a lot of negativity ain't it ? 2016 is nothing compared to what I went through 2019. Life had me there. But it's still alright and I love where I am now. Without the roller coaster, I would never grow. Best part of this drama, I gained tons a lot of new friends ! And much more amazing ones.
Appreciation post; I owe it all to you guys. It's embarrassing to say, I was very lonely during my 3rd year. The torment I went through with we all know who were just too much. I was always pretending I was okay with the negative vibe. Brushing it off when I heard things. More so, leaving alone is very tough, but y'all really made it better. Thank you for being such amazing friends to me. Really appreciate it to the core. To Ad and Sunita, you two are undeniably amazing. Click in one go. I don't know how I was able to be so comfortable with someone in just short amount of time, but you guys just did it so effortlessly. Amazing. And Puts, thank you for making it bearable for me. For attending my graduation, you know I love you more than you know (as how Ad says it). Special thanks to Fanna, you've been there for me when things just went bizarre and never left my side. Not even once. I don't know how to thank you and know that even when everyone is against you, you will always have my support. KakD, you are a goofball and I appreciate you for appreciating me. I love you for that. Okay, the rest, let me keep it in my heart. We may never know how life entertains us, but as of now, I am enjoying my company.
Now the mood has been lightened up, it's time for some success story.
I am thankful, from the bottom of my heart. Allah indeed, has BEAUTIFUL plans for me. Just when I thought I hit the rock bottom, He lifts me up with His hope and rizq. Alhamdulillah. I am undeniably grateful that I was able to get a job that I wanted. Great company, environment and everyone in my team is very supportive of me. My colleagues, my god. Perfect people. Beautiful and smart, a whole package each and every one of them. But do I feel insecure ? Never. Cause as soon as I compliment them, they compliment me ten thousand more. Compliments after compliments. Telling me what's good and what's not. It's always a beautiful time in the office, full of diversity and I LOVE the working culture. And it is all thanks to ALLAH, the Almighty.
More success story, I was able to graduate with distinction ! Yay ME ! I don't even know how I survive, but I survive. Uni life was great. Adorable juniors, seniors and lovely lecturers. I complained a lot but when I look back, it's been pretty fun. What's more, yo gurl just got shortlisted for Best Student for Undergraduate 2019. Truth to be told, I was actually shocked, just by being in the list with absolute talented people who contribute more to the university than I did. I just get some good grades, no more no less. Good life good life.
I just feel like this blog needs a constant update so stay tuned for more. I hope you guys enjoy a glimpse ( tbh its mostly everything) about my life. To those that are in need of hope, there's always a bright sun waiting for you. Negative thinking will lead you nowhere. Always have high hopes that life will get better and be positive regardless of the situation. Life is beautiful. If you always think it that way :)
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